I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time on this film.
People ripped it TO PIECES. They hated it. Laughed at it. But, I'm going out on a limb and saying...I didn't hate it. It's fine. It's watchable like a college play is watchable. I watched and didn't want my time back afterwards and that's saying something.
There's nothing new here. It's Dracula. But, there are some fun Argento-isms that I enjoyed seeing. The story moves along and things happen....:::shrug:::: There are some nekkid folks in it, blood and biting. Everything you'd expect. I think it was due to the extremely low expectations that I didn't walk away feeling this movie was all that bad. Especially when watching at home with a small glass of an adult beverage on my comfy couch via Netflix. It was a good time.
Now, there are HORRID things in here as well. Things they just should have masked with shadows, fog and darkness. The 3D. It's bad. It's cheap and bad and it should not be as prominent as it is. When it comes up, it's obvious and sad.
Asia "Yum Yum" Argento is still delicious, but she seems like she's playing well under her age range and it really doesn't work. The period clothing and hairstyle has an adverse affect on her charms as well, but she can vamp it up in true Asia style and it's fun.
And...Rutger Hauer in a "what am I doing here?" portrait of Van Helsing is just...yeah. You have to see it. It's fun in and of itself. :)
The lighting is strange overall as well. It's such a bright film. However, I think I might get what Argento was going for.
If you look at old Hammer films, they have the same look at points. Bright and stage-like, the lighting is blown out and in your face. I thought....just for a moment...that Dario might be going for this bright look of the older Hammer films.
At any rate, the film was fun and I enjoyed watching it. I still would have LOVED to see a SUSPIRIA Dario era Dracula - I think that would be really wild. Toss this on if you're in the mood for some fun post-recorded dialogue, bad 3D and strange turns of events. It's fine.