Grand Piano

Wow...wow...wow....GRAND PIANO was so intense!

Now, this is not straight horror. This is a Hitchcock-like...neo-giallo with flavors of Argento, Fulci, and Bava. It's going to be polarizing for sure. It has elements that some people will just not be willing to stand for - like it all taking place in pretty much one spot and having dialogue moving much of the plot forward. However, I loved every minute of it.

Elijah Wood plays Tom Selznick, a pianist returning to the stage after a disastrous performance five years earlier. Nervous to the point of distraction, he travels from the airport directly to the theater, changing into his tux in the limo and cutting it very close for his arrival time. His wife Emma (Kerry Bishé), a star in her own right, tries to guide him through the best she can while dealing with her own celebrity status and crowds within the theater. As he calms down enough to venture forward - trying to ignore the mean jokes and remarks behind the scenes at the theater, he's shocked to find that someone has left notes in his music pages...and that same someone has vicious plans for him.

I'll say no more. 

I was hooked on this film at the AMAZING credits (I was happy to see that they just weren't pretty visuals, too!) and as Wood rushes sadly through to the theater and we start to find out more and more about his backstory, I became more nervous and more anxious. I looked at this as a great thing because it showed that I actually cared about my lead character, not like one of these toss aways one tends to see in horror cinema. As the story went on, I became more and more concerned for Wood's safety.

The film itself is a total throwback to Argento in many ways from the camerawork to the color schemes, but it also had it's unique style and differences that made new and interesting, not just an homage. The Damien Chazelle's story was super solid, though it did have some very "giallo trope" aspects that were easily forgiven. Eugenio Mira's direction was kinetic and slick. I hope to see more from them - Grand Piano was made way back in 2013. His soundtrack for Nacho Vigalondo's Timecrimes (2007) was released by Mondo on a special limited edition vinyl.

As I said, I loved this film. It was a fun and interesting ride!   Thanks to Agent Tish for getting it on my radar! Currently on SHUDDER (U.S) at the time of this posting.

SUSPIRIA playing at the New Parkway Theater October 6th 10:30pm!

Dario Argento's masterwork SUSPIRIA is going to be playing at the New Parkway Theater in Oakland, CA on October 6th - 10:30pm.

From what I've been told, this is the newly restored, 4K print, so it should be glorious.

What better way to kick off GIALLOctober Fest?! I'm going. Are you?

TICKETS
https://ticketing.us.veezi.com/purchase/4096?siteToken=P5WXdOEJ3Eq2eHbZHTAtbg%3D%3D

The New Parkway Theater is located in the Uptown/KoNo section of Oakland, near the corner of Telegraph Avenue and 24th Street:

474 24th Street

Oakland, CA 94612

Movie and Information Hotline: 510-658-7900

Theater Administration (not for rentals or job inquiries–see below!): 510-338-3228

Fax: 510-338-3537

Creature: Wha Happon'?

The BEST-HORROR-MOVIES.com podcast featuring Director Fred Andrews got me curious about the 2011 film CREATURE. For those who are not aware, Creature was a somewhat low budget (ok, really low budget) horror film that got a major studio release. So major that it failed miserably, dying on the vine and earning a mere $327,000 from the 1507 screens it was shown on. Evidently, it was the lowest grossing first weekend ever for  film being shown on over 1500 screens and the second worst per location...ever. I had to see it.

FROM MOVIELINE:  $220 per screen and 6 people per showing

Now, in the interest of the new mantra of THE HORROR SHOW, there will be no bashing of this film. On the contrary - it's really not as bad as some I've seen.

The plot is super basic. Group of 20-somethings go off for an outing. Said trip sees them wandering too far off the path. There's a monster and "hillbilly bad guys". ::::shrug:::  Stop me if you've seen this before. And, they start dying. Nothing new. Nothing major. The monster design and makeup were fine. I mean, it's a dude in a suit and it's obvious and the lighting doesn't help in hiding the fact. This film is lit up all sorts of ways and in all sorts of dramatic styles. I'm not saying that they work for this film, but...they are there. The story was interesting - a good mix of reality and "it just happened through some sort of magic" that appealed to me. No need to go into the micro-details of how a sad man became this alligator monster man. I'm good with magical unknowns. Sure! Why not? It's an alligator man for cripes sake.

The cast is...there....being the cast. Sid Haig Sid Haigs things up as usual - always fun. "That black dude from True Blood" Mehcad Brooks and "That hot brunette girl...from something I've seen before" Serinda Swan (turns out it was SUPERNATURAL) turn in performances. There's another girl that I'll call "NOT the delicious Linda Cardellini" Amanda Fuller and Lauren Schneider who couldn't hang on to her accent, but was intriguing in that redhead showing her breasts sort of way. The rest, like I said, were there being the cast and saying their lines. :)


Everything was going along just fine as I watched Fred Andrews work his directorial magic and the plot unfolded before me. It was going so well that I found myself saying, "Man, this film REALLY got a bad rap! I bet it was just marketed incorrectly - it's not bad at all."  Then it happened. Everything started to fall apart in a rather spectacular way. 

People were taken away and tied up to be offered to the creature...and their foot was cut off? Um...why? Why did they do that? I...

There were six people in the group. Two couples and a brother and sister. The guy and girl from the couples were brother and sister as well. When the S goes down, the guy asks his buddy to save his sister...but doesn't seem to remember that he had a friggin GIRLFRIEND there as well! LOL "Get my sister safe! To hell with the girlfriend. I can always get another girlfriend!" No, he didn't say it, but he thought it! :)



WHOLE GROUPS OF PEOPLE APPEAR...then just WALK THE F AWAY and DISAPPEAR. People that might have been able to DO something had they stayed. And...where did they go? They just wander away into the swamp area.

The creature bites NUMEROUS people through the film, but proceeds to punch and pummel the guy who fights him in the end instead of just...eating him, really.

It goes on. I'd love to go on as well, but it starts to get mean after a while. :::grin:::  Above all, I was not mad about the time I spent watching this film. (Granted, I was doing other things as well most of the time) I had some laughs. I had some WTF?! moments. I found myself talking at the screen like crazy at the end with a big smile on my face saying things like, "Wait...they keep leaving these women around for the creature to find..." and "HA! POP GOES THE CREATURE! Didn't see THAT coming, did you, Buddy?!"

I had a good time, but I'd NEVER think about sending this thing off to the masses in a friggin theater! A few small theater showings around Halloween - sure, maybe. heheheh

WHAT the HECK was the studio thinking here? It's really their fault that this film failed in the theater. It shouldn't have been there. This would have done well released to DVD and Netflix, doing it's thing and being fine. If anything, it might have done better with more camp and less seriousness, but that's just a personal opinion.

Again, from the MOVIELINE article found here:
"Chalk the failed experiment, perhaps, to the elder Sheinberg's past successes; while at Universal Pictures, Sid Sheinberg released the game-changing Jaws and in the process birthed the blockbuster by forgoing small-scale roll-outs in favor of national release. Creature seemed to similarly attempt to launch a wide-scale release with but without sufficient awareness efforts among a proportionate audience, and as a result the film arrived without enough of a trumpet blast and lacking enough of a draw (great reviews, buzz) to make the gamble work."

I hope that Fred Woods recovers and makes more films. It looks like he's still going strong as a production designer. 

CREATURE is not the problem here and is well worth taking a look at over pizza, beer and popcorn on Netflix some rainy night for fun. It's just a shame that it was pushed out into the world like it was.

Watching horror in the theater

The recent buzz-and-grumble about V/H/S got me thinking a bit. People were saying that it's not worth seeing in the theater due to the hand held cam scenes and the general nature of the production. However, I disagree. I think that films like V/H/S and PARANORMAL ACTIVITY should be seen in a theater and that the experience is drastically different when sitting in the dark with other people in a theater - even a theater that only has 11 other people in it.

The movie MATINEE (1993) had a great scene in it where John Goodman talked about cave drawings and the social aspect of people getting scared about something together.




-

Lawrence Woolsey: A zillion years ago, a guy's living in a cave. He goes out one day, Bam! He gets chased by a mammoth. Now he's scared to death, but he gets away. And when it's all over with, he feels great.
Gene Loomis: Well yeah, 'cause he's still living.
Lawrence Woolsey: Yeah, but he knows he is. And he feels it. So he goes home, back to the cave, the first thing he does,
[Waving his hand on a brick wall to show cave-drawing of Woolly Mammoth]
Lawrence Woolsey: ... he does a drawing of the mammoth. And he thinks, "People are coming to see this. Let's make it good. Let's make the teeth real long, and the eyes real mean."
 

[Animated sequence of roaring Woolly Mammoth, squashed at end by Woolsey's hand]
Lawrence Woolsey: Boom! The first monster movie. That's probably why I still do it. You make the teeth as big as you want, then you kill it off, everything's okay, the lights come up...
[Pretending to sigh]

-

A great film - check it out. :)

But, there's a point here. The fear. The being scared together in the dark. The internet and the easy access to movies (...and CRAZY costs associated with going to the theater! ) have made the theater experience something that's a second or third choice for people. Drive-In theaters used to make it easy for families to go to the theater with small children. Now, Netflix and other online movie delivery methods fill that spot.

However, I'll never forget seeing PARANORMAL ACTIVITY in the theater. Man, the buzz when something was going to happen. People sighing and ramping up for fear when a night shot would start. The tension in the air as things built to crippling heights. And, the screams when something scary happened. You can't get that at home unless you invite 100 of your close friends over to watch with you. :)

Stranger still was the fact that people had to be shooed out of the theater when it was done. It was 1:30am, but people wanted to stay and talk about the film. Once they were pushed out, they stayed in the hall of the theater area and talked some more. Outside, additional groups spoke  about the film and tried to laugh off the tension.

When I saw THE EXORCIST III in the theater, I found myself looking around to see who...or what...what in the theater with me from time to time. There were six other people in the theater for that viewing and the BLAIR WITCH viewing (afternoon weekday showings), but it was still a far different experience than watching at home.

I saw V/H/S in a small theater in San Francisco -  THE BRIDGE theater built in 1939. There were about 15 people total at the fantastic venue's 9:35pm showing. And, it was awesome. People behind me winced and muttered words of warning to the characters on the screen. A girl sitting in front of us wrapped her hands over her head at one point and muttered, "Oh God....oh God....no no....". And, I laughed out loud at a few situations because I had NO idea what I would do if it were me up there on the screen. There was an energy that swirled in the theater. A buzz. It made the movie more enjoyable.


What are your thoughts?

Do you enjoy the theater experience or have the internet and high movie costs driven you to the sanctuary of your home theater arrangement?

Leave a comment!