THE FUNERAL HOME ( LA FUNERARIA )

The Funeral Home was a solid little ghost story, but the real focus of the film really is just grim doom.

Bernardo runs a funeral home and lives in a house behind it with his family - his wife Estela and her daughter Irina. A mystery unfolds slowly as we watch the family spiral down into darkness. We get the classic bumps in the night and see that the family is doing its best to cope with whatever is going on in the house...and whoever is in there with them. 

People walk around like they are physically drained and without an ounce of joy in them. It's a very interesting take for the story. There's this feeling that everyone in the home is just being slowly crushed by gravity. Grim and resigned to just crawl through the day best they can. I loved that aspect of the film and that combined with the overall set design really set a mood that was very...very dark and sad. 

Now, this is a very slow burn and fans of a more CONJURING style of jump scare roller coaster may not find this to their liking. I, however, really enjoyed the trip. The acting is solid and the mystery around what is going on in the home is very well done and has some fantastic reveals as the film moves along. 

Mauro Iván Ojeda's writing and direction are fantastic. He manages to do a lot with the setting and lets the story unfold in a delightful way. I was riveted to the goings on and was all in on the ride. The way the story spun out along a very well defined line made it even more engaging. You're not just given everything via a spoon, but have to hang in there and work it out as the folks in the film work it out themselves. Loved it. 

I only had one item that I wasn't thrilled with in the film just because I'm not a fan of the type of plot point execution :::spoiler free::: , but I think it may just be on me and it was a very small bit of the whole, so I didn't really have all that hard a time making it through to the other side of it. :::grin::: All in all, I enjoyed the film and what it brought to the ghostly table. 

Fans of story and acting will want to check out La Funeraria for sure. 

TRUE GHOST STORY: Boo Ghost

I can't remember if I wrote about this already. Going to assume I have not. :)

I used to work at an ad agency and I had a baby on the way and a toddler home with my wife, so I was making an effort to leave for work early and head home early.

I was standing in front of the Starbucks on 19th Ave and Geary in San Francisco waiting for them to open. The street was totally empty - a fog/drizzle combo making things cozy.

Then I got that feeling you get when someone rushes up behind you - a sort of energy jolt, and a female voice whispered, "BOO!" inches behind my head. I ducked and spun around. My back was facing the street and nothing was there. No car, person running....anything.

I remember smiling as I stood there looking around - shaking slightly from the jolt. I checked all around me, but there was nothing. I chuckled to myself and whispered, "Boo? Really?" out loud. I thought it was hilarious that I waited over 35 years to see something paranormal and the ghost that I get is a joker who thought BOO would be the thing to freak me out with! If you know me, you'd know that it was completely perfect for my strange sense of humor. 😁 I'll never forget it.

I was standing right by the mailboxes in front of the Wells Fargo ATM. You can see all the way up and down Geary and 19th. No one was there.

The Sublet (2015)

QUICKIE REVIEW: THE SUBLET

Well well well....here we go again with the "Hmph....that was actually pretty good," from me, but there it is...it was pretty good, actually.

Now, I don't want to give too much away here. It can be tricky with these movies.

So, Joanna and Jeff have a baby, lots of new pressures in their lives due to it, and have just moved into a sublet that proves to be a perfect pressure cooker for the stuff they are dealing with. They fall deeper and deeper into the new baby fire as they try to make Jeff's career as an actor work with Joanna as a full time stay at home mother - a job that is filled with daily pressures as it is.

But....is theirs the only sadness the sublet has seen? Is their pressure strictly related to the items listed above...or is there more to it?

I'm sure the trailer gives a lot away. :::grin:::

Basically a one-set-show, Tianna Nori and Mark Matechuk do grand jobs in what could laps into soap opera territory with ease. They get the new parent free fall right. This is really due to the script from Alyson Richards and director John Ainslie. Things get more and more strange as the movie goes on and what started off as a rather simple tale devolves into something more and more complex and off-putting as things go along. 

( I love when the detectives arrive - a fun performance from Mark Ettlinger and Jeff Sinasac! )

All in all, this was a fun watch! Currently on....you guessed it! SHUDDER!  :)

Fragile (2005)

It's fun having a movie like FRAGILE to watch on a cold and rainy day. It's that kind of film.
Calista Flockhart plays nurse Amy Nicholls who is taking over the night shift within an old hospital that's being shut down and moved. A few of the children have not been moved yet and await their turn to move to the new location. However, as the days drip by, something can be heard bumping and thumping through the old place....and up on the closed off...second floor.

Now, this is not a "mind blowing" film showing new and exciting things, but the old haunted hospital tropes are done well and the story supports the chills and thrills in a fun way.

Jaume Balagueró (REC series of films) is a grand director. He really knows how to frame things and his writing combined with Jordi Galceran made a very interesting little horror mystery here.

If you're a fan of slower paced, character driven haunted horrors, you might want to give Fragile a go. Especially on a dark and stormy night! :)

Terrified (Aterrados) 2017

SHUDDER has done it again, bringing the super fun film TERRIFIED (Aterrados)  to US audiences. There are times where a film just ticks off every box for me and this ghostly tale did just that.

The story revolves around several families in a small neighborhood in Buenos Aires and the strange events happening to them. Certain supernatural happenings are starting to run rampant for people and it doesn't show signs of stopping. When the police and a small team of investigators get involved, things really begin to run off the rails.








The story is super tight and we're danced through various happenings and are treated to a few perspective shifts that really created a lot of interest for me. It would be easy to break the story into parts and tell it in a chapter based format, but the flow here is expertly done and the choices the writer / director Demián Rugna makes are fantastic.





I heard a podcast say that there was really no explanation for what was happening and I have to differ. The investigators say everything they happen to know about what's going on, even if that may not be a whole lot, but that's all they really should know in this case. If they pulled out some ancient tome and started reading about what we we seeing, I'd be a bit pissed off. The way things were presented here kept enough information available, but didn't try to give you everything. It really left the right amount to the imagination.

The acting is top notch as well and all the characters are believable and realistic.  There was fantastic character development and some character shifts that were very engaging. I was all in on the arcs presented and really felt for most of the people in the film - caring about what was happening to them and really wanting to see them make it through.

Maximiliano Ghione

Above all I loved Maximiliano Ghione as Detective Funes. He nails the wide range he need to span here. He's the together and suave cop who's just about to retire to the terrified officer who is having second thoughts about his involvement. There are small comedy bits that are subtle and solid as well. It looks like he was mostly on TV, but he completely nailed his film role here.

The atmosphere is downright thick and creepy. This neighborhood is simple and sweet looking during the day, but some of the internal house shots at night were nightmare inducing. Taking that atmosphere and introducing some fantastic scares made it a whole lot of fun.




And the jump scares.....  ::::whew:::  They were really well done and completely earned. You need to EARN your jump scares, people. Kicking the volume up on a piercing music hit doesn't count. It's the equivalent of slapping someone in the face and bragging that you made them blink. Really drawing people in....baiting the hook....then springing on them visually is the way I love seeing it done and TERRIFIED does it a few times. I was giggling like a kid! There are some damn creepy visuals in here and I loved every one of them.

The saddest thing about the film were the comments made on SHUDDER's youTube channel where  the Terrified trailer lived. People are actually complaining about the fact that Shudder has a lot of foreign horror. Some even said that it was nothing but a streaming service only for foreign horror. The comments were ridiculous.

Oh look: another potentially great horror entry for Shudder...that will be completely unavailable to rent or own on physical media.

Um...GREAT! IF it's not on physical media, I'm happy Shudder has it available. YAY FOR HORROR!

Oh look at that... another foreign movie.....I wouldn't recommend shudder to anybody unless they fluently speak more than 2 languages.....the amount of English content is embarrassing

This is just a false statement. Shudder is adding new content ALL the time and at least 50% of the added titles seem to be in English. Hey..spoiler...there are other countries on the plant and not all of them speak English. Hate to break it to you.

See? THIS is why we can't have nice things!  

Shudder has one of the best horror streaming services available with a large selection of all sorts of films from all over the world. WHY would you complain about that at $10 a month, people?! Don't like foreign films? Here's an idea - don't watch them. You could watch one of the MANY other film offerings Shudder has for viewing. There are plenty of people who love foreign films and don't mind subtitles. It just seemed like a rather backwards way of thinking, but...that seems to be the going view for many people these days, sadly.

ANYWAY......TERRIFIED is a fantastic watch. If you are able to read and don't mind subtitles or foreign films, you need to check this gem out. And...if you don't like foreign films, skip it. You can watch the English remake that Guillermo Del Toro is producing when it comes out!

See? Easy, right?   :::grin:::

Bloody Ballet

Ok, I'm going to come out and say the one "flaw" that I had with BLOODY BALLET (2017) - the plotting was strange and confused. I was scratching my head through the whole film. "Wait...we're back at this guy? But...ok....  Oh...and now we're back with her? Gees...ok..." :::sigh::: That being said...I really enjoyed everything else immensely!

The aforementioned plot revolves around a woman in the ballet and a man doing...ghost research? ANYWAY...people start dying in horrible ways. Don't get your hopes up for a bloody ballet - there isn't one. And, if you choose to give this a watch, stick with it through the one of two parts where it seems to be running off the rails. They get back on track rather quickly. Moving on!

I'm not 100% sure they were going for this (though, if they weren't, they nailed it like a blindfolded bullseye!) , but they nailed the "70's girl think she's going mad as people die around her in horrible ways at the hands of a creepy killer" film style that I love. They really hit many of the marks.



She visits her psychiatrist trying to work out answers.
She keeps getting reports that her friends and fellow ballerinas are dead.
And, she wonders if her past is playing into all of it - the gruesome murder of her parents at the hand of an unknown killer.





It's 70s Italian thriller style perfection from this American thrill. The film also slips some wild synth score nuggets into the mix that drives the vibe home expertly.

And they go for it on the gore front as well. They really go for it. There are some nasty little bits and some creepy crap scenes that really made me smile.  Bloody Ballet manages to slip through several genres rather expertly - the main thing that held my attention all the way through the film.  Slashers, ghosts, some gialli love...all twisting around a little psychological horror. It was a lot of fun!






The cinematography is fantastic and the production quality is grand. The acting is solid and fights through the storyline flaws managing to make the film work even if there are some odd holes and disjointed story connections. I totally get what they were going for and by the end I did find myself nodding and shrugging like, "Why...they got there..." , but there were some funny WTF moments in there for me.



All in all, BLOODY BALLET was a lot of fun. It felt like my VHS days. Well worth a viddy!

Oddly, I couldn't find it on IMDB.

The Witch in the Window

Well well well....
Every once in a while you get a little film that ticks all the boxes without having major cash behind it. THE WITCH IN THE WINDOW manages to tell a great story, showcase some solid performances, and hums along at a wonderful pace. It's like a good book. The gothic tale spins out at one our and seventeen minutes and is now on my WIN list for small, atmospheric films like I AM A GHOST, THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN, I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE, THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF ROSALIND LEIGH, and THE MOOSE HEAD OVER THE MANTEL .

The tale is small and simple. A man and his son move into an old house to fix it up. The Father hopes that it may mend things between him and his wife. A place to rekindle their love and their lives. But, as usual, there is something in the house that might ruin all of those hopes and dreams.

The direction and cast are so solid here. The acting is rock solid and the turns the story takes are fantastic. Like a warm blanket, the film wraps itself around you and snuggles you in tight as you feel warm and cold all at once. The scares are pretty good and there are some moments that sent a chill up my spine.

Andy Mitton wrote and directed the film and I was really happy to see him behind the wheel. I loved WE GO ON and YELLOWBRICKROAD and was eager to check this offering out. And, BOOM - loved it. He writes characters that feel real. Interactions and events feel really. And, with the acting of people like Alex Draper (also from YELLOWBRICK) and the young man Charlie Tacker ( who really nailed it, thank the heavens ) Mitton was able to get a very solid spooky offering into the mix on the SHUDDER lineup. Seeing Tacker in this made me get a little excited about the LADY IN WHITE remake, too.

If you want a slow burn ghost story to watch one chilly night this fall, give THE WITCH IN THE WINDOW a look...and stay.  :)

Interview with Mitton from the FANTASIA FILM FESTIVAL can be found here.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I love HILL HOUSE in all it's iterations.

The films to date have been solid. Two out of three were fantastic. One was a train wreck, but still fun to watch. The books are fantastic. The concepts in all are fun and engaging. So, when I heard that they were doing another version I was super excited. That is, until I saw the trailer.

"What?! Gawd damn it - they changed everything. What....it's about a family now? Bet it'll be packed with jump scares, clowns, nuns, and dolls. Stupid people changing a great thing. Just give me the Jackson or Matheson book. BOO!"  And, I stomped off to sulk.

But...holy cow....this is a fantastic vision for the Hill House legacy. Complex and super engaging, this new version had me talking and talking about the show and wanting to just sit and watch the whole thing in one sitting!



Do yourself a favor - Don't watch any trailers for this. Don't Google-up any images. Just watch. The images I have in this post are spoiler free. 

Avoiding spoilers....
The story is about a family. Not ghosts, but a family. I believe that's what makes it so strong. The parents move into homes, redo them and get them looking grand, then sell them for profit. The kids are used to the whole show and are eager to get the Hill House done so they can move on to their final new home - a dream home they will never have to move from again. This is the big score, the Hill House. Once it's done, they'll be all set. But as is the case with films when people start talking about the bright snd shiny future, things have a tendency to fail and not go the way plans state.

As the children grow up and face their adult dramas, they remember life in the Hill House and see how it's affecting their adult selves.



Now, that seems simple and very Little House on the Prairie, but it's not. My simple breakdown of what's happening has been super simplified. The storytelling here is complex and smart. We see present day all the way back to the first day they moved in. Non-linear scenes blend timelines and story arcs expertly as the stories - both past and present, unfold. We're shown, not told which I completely loved! Basically, Mike Flanagan's writing says, "Ok...here are the players. Let's go. Keep up, ok?" and it leads you forward flashing back and forth in a beautiful dance. The story moves along going from the present day back to various stops in the past to tell the tale and I never once felt lost or confused. It all just makes sense the way it's laid out.

Am I making this sound like I loved it? Oh, that's only because I did love it. With my whole heart. :) 
The acting really made it here. The kids and their adult selves feel like they really are matched perfectly. Using Henry Thomas as the young father Hugh Crain and Timothy Hutton as the older Crain was amazing. They both take on little character traits that make the transition perfect. Carla Gugino is mesmerizing. The entire cast is rock solid and never feels like they are going to far over the top dramatically, but they nail every emotion throughout.

Ghosts from one scene in the first episode
CLICK TO SEE LARGER

And ghosts. There are some amazing ghosts in here and they all have grand looks. My wife saw one scene (she's not a horror lover) and her comment was, "Jesus....that's...just so scary..." before leaving the room with a BYE tossed over her shoulder. hehehe . And the fun thing is that there are hidden ghosts throughout the Hill House moments that I completely missed on first viewing. ((I've started it over again from the beginning)) I'm keeping more of an eye out now as I watch and I'm literally muttering "How the hell did I miss that the first time?" as I watch. It's a fantastic game that makes a rewatch even better.

The look and feel of the house is amazing as well. There are family scenes that are light and bright in the day - nothing to fear. But, the night scenes.... whew....those are a different story all together.

I'm not going to say much more. I don't really want to let anything slip about this series.





If you love a good drama, great storytelling, and some fantastic, gothic chills, you're going to want to drop everything, head over to NETFLIX, and fire up The Haunting of Hill House ASAP. It's a fantastic journey.

Ghost Stories (2017)

I waited. I waited some more. I waited longer still. All the while, my general excitement about GHOST STORIES was growing. When more and more positive reviews started coming in, my excitement was out of control. Finally, when I made time to sit down and watch, I was worried that I was bound to be disappointed due to the hype and hope I had for the film to knock my socks off. However, I was far from disappointed. On the contrary, I was so happy with the film I almost started it over right after it ended.

Andy Nyman of DEAD SET fame (for me at least) plays Professor Goodman who goes around proving that the supernatural happenings in the world are just make believe and fueled by tricksters. There was someone else who used to do the same thing back when Goodman was younger, but that man disappeared without a trace.  That is, until he resurfaces to present Goodman with three cases he couldn't disprove. He asks - no, BEGS Goodman to prove the cases are not real. And so we're off to the races and Goodman goes further and further down the rabbit hole as he interviews the three people involved with the three unsolved case files.

Now, this film could have been played out as found footage, but thankfully they avoid that. It would have been a disaster if they had gone that route. As it stands now, it's wonderfully shot and paced.

The three cases (sections) are gone through in really interesting ways. They were super creepy in a great way. Those familiar and as in love with the works of M.R. James as I am should be very happy with these strange little ghost tales. They take their time telling the story, but don't overstay their welcome at all. Things zip right along, then come to lovely rest stops of terror to really let you stew a bit.

The film's true superpower is simple to see. It's the storylines. They are super solid and roll out wonderfully. As we're introduced to each case persona, we get enough backstory on each person to get a good character base to work from. And with the acting chops of Nyman, Martin Freeman, Paul Whitehouse, and the wonderfully on edge performance of Alex Lawther (Black Mirror, The End of the F@#$ing World) , you are allowed to really sink into the tales as they unfold. The writer/director team of Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman really needs to create more films. Period.

I love the overall look of the film as well. It actually reminded me of some of Hammer's more gothic offerings. The whole muted tone of the visuals adds to the feeling of dread that just drips off the screen.

Now, I think I'll stop here for fear of saying something spoilery.

I friggin' LOVED this film. At one point I stood up and muttered, "Holy f@#$....whooooa...."  and at another I was giggling saying, "Oh no no no nooooo...." while watching.

I can't wait to watch this one again. (I caught it on Amazon)

The Visitor (1979)

What the HELL did I just watch?1 heheheh 

Mel Ferrer...Glenn Ford...Lance Henriksen...and the super adorable Joanne Nail...all in this weird little science fiction film that looks like the lovechild of THE FURY and THE BAD SEED.  This super creepy film (creepy because of all the inappropriate and strange child scenes) tells the tale of a bad space eight year old who's inherently evil. Luckily, Mel Ferrer is on the case, making sure the creepy eight year old and the evil folks on her side don't get poor Joanne Nail pregnant with a little brother for her.

The movie just keeps bringing on the bonkers.

Surprise gun gift madness. 




SHELLY fucking WINTERS cast as the "magical negro housekeeper" (it's a thing, look it up) role and inept bodyguard - providing wisdom during the...maybe one day she was on set shooting.  hehehehe 





Ice skating battles. 

A pigtailed 8ish year old kid delivering lines like, "Do you want to know where it is? UP YOUR ASS!"

The most bald people assembled for a film since THX1138. 

High aspiration green screen shots that are...magical. 

Secret Evil Businessmen around a large table...making evil plans.

A score fit for....maybe the 1972 Olympic Games opening ceremony throughout. 

Funhouse mirrors?

A LOT of bird attacks.

AND....Franco Nero as Jesus Christ. Yes...Jesus. 

Just...strange. Good old Italian strange. And long feeling. At an hour forty-eight minutes, it feels more like 2.5 hours or so.

However, I was all in on the film. It has enough in it to make it interesting. And they manage to make some things happen in the film that look kinda cool. Like this silver mirror effect on ole creepy kid's eyes when she's....alien-ing out.

This is a must see for fans of strange, Italian films. It's all in there and packs enough entertaining oddness in to keep you going. If you're a pot smoker, you might want to plan on being REALLY high when you watch this. I'm a whiskey man, myself, but I don't know if any amount of whiskey could get me spinning enough for this film to make sense. hehehehe

Check it!